As a remote learner, you’ve probably read a lot about how you can get the most out of your distance ed for college experience. There is no shortage of info out there. But while you’ll find plenty of to do’s, what about the do nots?
To change things up and have some fun, we decided to explore the most effective ways to ruin your time as a distance learner. If you’re set on sabotaging your chances for a productive and meaningful time as a student, this post is for you! We hope to give you the best advice on how to be the worst student (and all-around person) as possible.
So, if you’re interested in getting the least out of your distance learning experience, follow these steps. You’ll be amazed at how much worse your learning experience becomes after you’ve tried one or more of these.
(A heads up: If you haven’t guessed by now, this blog post is tongue-in-cheek so take what we recommend with a grain of salt—or two!)
1. Refuse to grow
A great way to ruin your time as a distance learner is by not pushing yourself. Growing will only help improve your time in school, and that’s not what this post is about. So, crank up your ego to 11, tell others you’re “too good to grow,” and stay stagnant!
2. Take only easy classes
To be the best at not growing, take only classes that are easy. Even if you don’t care about the subject. If it’s easy, take it. You’re likely to grow very little, if at all, which will make your distance learning experience all the worse.
3. Don’t have a plan
Not having a plan for which degree you want to pursue will make it easier to take whatever breezy course you’d like—even if they are required for majors that have nothing to do with one another.
Distance learners who want to ruin their experience should never email, call, or otherwise speak to a college counselor. Having a plan will only enrich your time in school, so avoid having one.
4. Don’t ask questions
To have an awful time in school, you’ll want to consider yourself too smart to ask your professors any questions. Questions mean you’re pushing your brain to think and can put you in danger of growing.
For the worst distance learning experience possible, avoid any chat features and refuse to email your professors with your questions.
5. Complain often
Distance learners who refuse to complain are going to enjoy themselves much more. If you don’t want to be like them, and you want to make yourself and others around you miserable, be sure to complain.
But you may think, “Even other distance learners who enjoy their experience complain from time to time.” That’s right, which is why it’s important that you complain much more often than them. Shoot for complaining at least once every 10 minutes throughout the day.
Complain about the most mundane things, like how boring it is to watch lectures. Say stuff like “You’re not getting the real college experience” as a distance learner. Or, better yet, complain about how no one has invented holographic learning technology (having that would make watching lectures a lot less boring). Stuff like that.
6. If you don’t have a job while in school, be sure not to take many classes
If the only work you’re doing is distance learning, we normally say you should have a full schedule of classes—12 to 15 credit hours, equal to roughly four or five courses.
But you want to ruin your distance learning experience, right? So, to do that, we recommend taking only one or two courses per semester. This will lengthen the time it takes to get your degree, so you’ll have more time to truly ruin your experience.
7. Avoid a social life
Friends can often inspire you to grow, so it’s best to avoid any. Having friends in your life can make it difficult to sulk and be miserable. After all, you don’t want to risk someone correcting you after you’ve expressed your God-given right to complain about everything related to distance learning. Suffering through your time as a distance learner is most effectively done alone.
Bonus tip: Never visit this site again
We post too much information about how to get the most out of your distance learning experience. So, if you’re hoping to do the opposite, don’t come here. You’ll only be tempted to enjoy your distance learning experience.